Why I Am Dumber Than Anyone Reading This Blog

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Picture a recent financial mistake you’ve made. I guarantee you that I did something dumber in the past week.

At the start of this month, I was getting my hair cut at a Fantastic Sam’s in St. Louis. I chatted up the girl that cut my hair. Cute. Blonde. In shape. Not a supermodel, but better than the waters I’ve waded in lately. After I was done getting my hair cut, I wrote down my phone number on one of the business cards sitting at the front desk, and told her to call me if she wanted to meet up for drinks.

At about four o’clock in the afternoon the next day, I noticed I had a missed call on my phone from a number I did not recognize. I looked at the little red circle on the top left of my Android, and saw that the number of unheard voicemail messages sitting on my phone was still “150.” Whoever called me didn’t leave a message, so I deleted the number, thinking nothing of it.

The next day, I had a missed call from my friend Andrew, followed by the text “hey man I tried to leave a message but your mailbox was full call me when you get a minute.” Damn.

For the most part, I’m terrible at listening to voicemail messages. The 150 unheard messages had piled up since I got the phone from my parents for Christmas during my junior year of college in 2010. About five or so messages piled up every month that I never got around listening to—however, I now know that Google will only carry up to 150 of them before it stops taking any further messages. So yeah, I blew that one.

Maybe you’ll invest in the next Enron. Maybe you’ll trade in and out of an IPO like Facebook and have it turn against you. If you do, just remember, your dumbness is probably not any worse than Tim McAleenan in the late summer of 2013.